\"The Nice Girl Syndrome: Stop Being Manipulated and Abused—and Start Standing Up for Yourself\" by Beverly Engel is a self-help guide that explores how women who have been conditioned to always be “nice” often become vulnerable to manipulation, exploitation, and abuse in relationships, workplaces, and daily life. Engel explains that many women, due to childhood experiences, cultural expectations, or family dynamics, learn to suppress their true feelings, avoid conflict at all costs, and prioritize others’ needs over their own. While these behaviors may appear virtuous, they often come at the expense of self-respect, boundaries, and emotional well-being. Engel identifies common patterns of the “nice girl” personality—such as people-pleasing, fear of rejection, tolerating mistreatment, inability to say no, and believing self-worth depends on others’ approval—and shows how these tendencies keep women trapped in cycles of low self-esteem and unhealthy relationships.

The book doesn’t just diagnose the problem; it provides step-by-step strategies to break free from this destructive conditioning. Engel teaches readers how to set healthy boundaries, confront manipulative behavior, develop assertiveness without guilt, and build self-confidence rooted in authenticity rather than external validation. Through practical exercises, affirmations, and real-life examples, she encourages women to replace passive niceness with empowered kindness—a way of being that values compassion while also honoring one’s own needs and dignity. Engel also challenges cultural myths that equate female virtue with self-sacrifice, helping readers unlearn toxic beliefs and embrace self-advocacy as a form of strength rather than selfishness.

Ultimately, The Nice Girl Syndrome is both a wake-up call and a roadmap for transformation. It empowers women to stop tolerating mistreatment, reclaim their voices, and cultivate healthier, more equal relationships. Engel’s compassionate yet direct approach helps readers move from being controlled by fear and guilt to living with confidence, courage, and self-respect.