Sometimes, the books we need most find us when we’re running on empty—when we’ve forgotten what it feels like to really love ourselves. That’s where I was when Love Yourself Like Your Life Depends on It by Kamal Ravikant entered my life. I wasn’t actively searching for a self-love book; I was just trying to survive another day, carrying all the weight of doubt, frustration, and guilt that had piled up over time. It’s easy to forget how harshly we treat ourselves, especially when life’s demands pull us in a hundred directions. But I listened to the audiobook on a whim, hoping for something to shake me out of my slump—and it did more than that. Kamal didn’t just talk about loving yourself in a nice, feel-good way; he spoke about it like a life-or-death matter. It wasn’t soft; it was urgent.

His voice, calm yet firm, didn’t make it feel like some fluffy self-help mantra. It felt real, almost like he was telling me the truth I didn’t know I needed to hear: your own love is the foundation for everything else. It wasn’t about affirmations or motivational speeches. It was about a practice—a daily, relentless commitment to loving yourself, even when it felt impossible.

Here are seven lessons that shifted my entire perspective and helped me rebuild my relationship with myself:

1. Love Is a Choice, Not a Feeling. I’d always thought love was something that came and went, like a wave you either caught or missed. But Kamal’s approach changed that completely. He explains that love isn’t just something you feel—it’s something you choose to give yourself, no matter the circumstances. This lesson helped me realize that I didn’t have to wait for the “right” moment to love myself. I could choose to do it, even on the days when I felt least deserving.

2. Self-Love Isn’t Self-Indulgence—It’s Self-Respect. In our culture, we sometimes confuse self-love with selfishness or indulgence, but Kamal separates them clearly. Loving yourself isn’t about giving into every whim or desire; it’s about respecting yourself enough to choose what’s best for you. This distinction helped me understand that self-love isn’t about pampering; it’s about honoring who you are and making choices that reflect that worth.

3. The Power of the “I Love Myself” Mantra. At first, I was skeptical of the idea of repeating “I love myself” over and over again. It felt forced, almost too simple. But Kamal explains that these words are powerful because they help rewire your brain. Saying them with conviction, especially during moments of doubt, shifts your internal narrative. It doesn’t change things overnight, but it starts to soften the harshness of your inner critic and create space for self-compassion.

4. Your Thoughts Shape Your Reality. This idea wasn’t new, but Kamal’s reminder to be hyper-aware of my inner dialogue hit hard. Our thoughts can be cruel, often louder than any external voice. But the more I paid attention to how I spoke to myself, the more I realized how damaging those thoughts were. Kamal urges us to replace negativity with love—immediately. Every time I noticed myself spiraling into self-doubt, I tried to catch it and replace it with something kinder, something more affirming.

5. Self-Love Is a Practice, Not a One-Time Fix. I wanted a quick fix—a magic pill for self-love. But Kamal made it clear that self-love is a lifelong practice. It’s something you commit to every single day, even when you don’t feel like it. This lesson helped me embrace the process, not the result. I didn’t have to be perfect in my self-love journey; I just had to keep showing up, even if it was messy.

6. The Importance of Boundaries. This lesson is simple but crucial. Loving yourself also means protecting yourself. Kamal talks about how self-love involves setting healthy boundaries—not just with others, but with yourself. When you love yourself, you stop letting people, habits, or environments drain you. This lesson helped me finally understand that saying “no” wasn’t an act of selfishness, but an act of self-preservation.

7. Your Self-Worth Is Not Tied to External Validation. One of the most freeing takeaways was understanding that your worth isn’t determined by anyone else’s approval or opinion. I had spent so much of my life looking for external validation, but Kamal helped me see that true self-love is rooted in the acceptance of myself, without needing anyone else to approve of who I am. It’s an internal job, one that only I can do for myself.#

Listening to Love Yourself Like Your Life Depends on It was a wake-up call. Kamal doesn’t sugarcoat the challenge of loving yourself; he speaks to the raw, vulnerable truth that self-love can be hard, especially when it feels like you don’t deserve it. But his insistence that it’s not just “nice to have”—it’s essential—reminded me that loving myself isn’t a luxury. It’s the foundation for everything else in life. And the more I practice, the more I realize: I am worth it.